The Pastor has been focusing on a theme of One Decision At A Time. Yesterday his thoughts were directed to “I thought by now...” in our lives. It caused me to pause and consider how true that was for me since the virus in 2004. A lot of years of chronic pain and health issues. Certainly not how I saw my life at 63 years old. I carry a lot of guilt and disappointment in myself because I stumbled and failed which kept me from what I wanted to do with my life.
Moving to Virginia has helped me personally in so many ways, but yesterday I got thinking about how I often stumbled and failed in my walk with Jesus because of fear and pain. I see how one decision at a time caused me to end up isolated and lonely. Circumstances that I could not change, had caused me to close down and give up. I know God could still use me, just not like I had planned, nor could I see any venue He could use me in the future. I am still so fearful to commit or volunteer because I have days that I am unable to follow through and I hate that!
However, yesterday I saw that I can make “One Decision At A Time” and glorify God. Decisions I can make like spending time in my Bible, send a note of encouragement, etc. The Pastor gave a great quote “More Of Jesus Less of Me.” To me this means humility, generosity, having a servant’s heart and most importantly to release my fears and frustrations to God and not to those around me. To be free to seek daily God’s will for my day.
I am so grateful God is a God of mercy and grace. He forgives our past and gives us hope for the future. I still question dealing with physical limitations, but pray for peace in my heart to enjoy the life He chooses for me. A life that glorifies Him!
My new daily prayer and focus: Use me to glorify YOU in 2020!
Oh, and here is a pic of Pops enjoying time with the Murdocks:
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