Yesterday I had the joy of having lunch with 6 of my 7 siblings. We all had not seen Nancy since Tom's funeral. She has been working out some things in her life and I could see she is in a better place. She brought up a discussion about learning and working on forgiving the past and loving her family just because we are her family.
I had stated how God had showed me in 1982 that I could choose to forgive or I would be filled with bitterness and anger. Those two emotions would only hurt me, not the person who wronged me. I have since always tried to choose forgiveness and love. It isn't always easy, but I have disciplined myself to really "choose" love over anger. For my sake!
This morning I was again reading in 1 Timothy and it struck me that maybe my burnout with Ladies Bible Study was not the fault of the ladies or my church - but me! I have had a bad attitude for some time and I have let that permeate into my teaching. I now see that is so wrong.
My heart is screaming to simplify and now I have added to forgive as well. You see, I believe God has just showed me that to simply my life, I have to clean out all the animosity that I have let creep into my heart. I have gotten myself out of all commitments in order to travel with Rod. But, I am thinking that maybe God is using this to allow me to attend prayer meeting and get back to a simpler faith and walk with Him. Less stress and frustrations. I get so tired. No doubt about that, but still, I want to really get back to just filling myself with His love and strength - PEACE!
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